FOUR
UNIQUE HUMAN ENDOWMENTS
The primary human endowments are
1) self-awareness or self-knowledge; 2) imagination and conscience;
and 3) volition or will power.
Self-Awareness
Associated
with Habit 1: Be Proactive is the endowment of self-knowledge
or self-awareness - an ability to choose your response (response-ability).
At the low end of the continuum are the ineffective people who
transfer responsibility by blaming themselves or others or their
environment anything or anybody "out there" so that
they are not responsible for results. If I blame you, in effect
I have empowered you. I have given my power to your weakness.
Then I can create evidence that supports my perception that you
are the problem.
At the upper end of the continuum toward increasing effectiveness
is self-awareness: "I know my tendencies; I know the scripts
or programs that are in me; but I am not those scripts. I can
rewrite my scripts." You are aware that you are the creative
force of your life.You are not the victim of conditions or conditioning.
You can choose your response to any situation, to any person.
Between what happens to you and your response is a degree of freedom.
And the more you exercise that freedom, the larger it will become.
As you work in your circle of influence and exercise that freedom,
gradually you will stop being a "hot reactor" (meaning
there's little separation between stimulus and response) and start
being a cool, responsible chooser no matter what your genetic
make-up may be, no matter how you were raised, no matter what
your childhood experiences were, or what the environment is. In
your freedom to choose your response lies the power to achieve
growth and happiness.
Imagine what might happen if you could get every person inside
a company to willingly act on the belief: "Quality begins
with me. And I need to make my own decisions based on carefully
selected principles and values." Proactivity cultivates this
freedom. It subordinates your feelings to your values. You accept
your feelings, "I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm upset. I accept
those feelings; I don't deny or repress them. Now I know what
needs to be done. I am responsible." That's the principle:
"I am response-able."
Conscience
So on the continuum, you go from
being a victim to being a self-determining creative power through
self-awareness of the power to choose your response to any condition
or conditioning.
Associated with Habit 2: Begin With the End In Mind is the endowment
of imagination and conscience. If you are the programmer, write
the program. Decide what you're going to do with the time, talent,
and tools you have to work with: "Within my small circle
of influence, I'm going to decide."
At the low end of the continuum is the sense of futility about
goals, purposes, and improvement efforts. After all, if you are
totally a victim, if you are a product of what has happened to
you, then what can you realistically do about anything? So you
wander through life hoping things will turn out well, that the
environment may be positive, so you can have your daily bread
and maybe some positive fruits.
At the other end is a sense of hope and purpose: "I have
created the future in my mind. I can see it, and I can imagine
what it will be like." Animals can't do that. They may instinctively
gather nuts for the winter, but they can't create a nut-making
machine, nor do they ask the question, "Why do I do nuts?
Why don't I get someone else to gather nuts for me?" Only
humans examine such questions. Only people have the capability
to imagine a new course of action and pursue it conscientiously.
Why conscience? Because to be highly effective, your conscience
must monitor all that you imagine, envision, and engineer. Those
who attempt to exercise creativity without conscience inevitably
create the unconscionable. Or, at the very least, they exchange
their creative talents for "canned goods," using their
creativity - their applied imagination and visual affirmations
- to win material things or social rewards. And then they become
hopelessly imbalanced.
Practice using these two unique human capacities: First, see yourself
going to the office this afternoon, or home tonight, and finding
it in a terrible situation. The house is a total disaster. No
one has done his or her job; all the commitments made have been
unfulfilled. And you're tired and beat up.
Imagination
Now, imagine, yourself responding
to that reality in a mature, wise, self-controlled manner. See
the effect that has on someone else. You didn't confess their
sins. You started to pitch in. You were cheerful, helpful, pleasant.
And your behavior will prick the conscience of others and allow
the consequences agreed upon to happen.
You just used two unique human capacities: imagination and conscience.
You didn't rely on memory; if you had relied on memory or history,
you might have lost your cool, made judgments of other people
and exacerbated conditions. Memory is built into your past responses
to the same or similar stimuli. Memory ties you to your past.
Imagination points you to your future. Your potential is unlimited,
but to potentiate is to actualize your capabilities no matter
what the conditions are.
In the book Man's Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, the Austrian
psychiatrist imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany in
World War II, tells how he exercised the power to choose his response
to his terrible conditions. One day, he was subjected to experiments
on his body. And he discovered, "I have the power to choose."
And he looked for meaning. He believed that if you have a meaning
(purpose or cause), if you have a why, you can live with any what.
The development of his professional life came out of that one
insight. He was raised in the Freudian tradition of psychic determinism.
He learned it was a lie. It wasn't based on science. It came from
the study of sick people - neurotics and psychotics - not from
the study of healthy, creative, effective people. He didn't go
to his memory; he went to his imagination and conscience. You,
too, can progress along the continuum from futility and old habits
to faith, hope, and inner security through the exercise of conscience
and imagination.
Willpower
Associated with Habit 3: Put First
Things First is the endowment of willpower. At the low end of
the continuum is the ineffective, flaky life of floating and coasting,
avoiding responsibility and taking the easy way out, exercising
little initiative or willpower. And at the top end is a highly
disciplined life that focuses heavily on the highly important
but not necessarily urgent activities of life. It's a life of
leverage and influence.
You go from victim to creative resource, from futility to hope
and anchorage, and from flaky to disciplined Habits 1, 2 and 3.
One draws on self-awareness or self-knowledge; two draws on conscience
and imagination; and three draws on willpower. These are unique
human endowments that animals don't possess. On the continuum,
you go from being driven by crises and having can't and won't
power to being focused on the important but not necessarily urgent
matters of your life and having the will power to realize them.
From primary to secondary endowments
And the secondary endowments are
4) an abundance mentality; 5) courage and consideration; and 6)
creativity. The seventh endowment is self-renewal. These are all
unique human endowments; animals don't possess any of them. But,
they are all on a continuum of low to high levels. The exercise
of primary human endowments empowers you to use the secondary
endowments more effectively.
PRIMARY GREATNESS
Abundance Mentality
Associated with Habit 4: Think Win-Win
is the endowment of an abundance mentality. Why? Because your
security comes from principles. Everything is seen through principles.
When your wife makes a mistake, you're not accusatory. Why? Your
security does not come from your wife living up to your expectations.
If your son, your husband, your friend, or your boss makes a mistake,
you don't become accusatory, you look with compassion. Why? Your
security does not come from them. It comes from within yourself.
You're principle-centered.
As people become increasingly principle-centered, they love to
share recognition and power. Why? It's not a limited pie. It's
an ever-enlarging pie. The basic paradigm and assumption about
limited resources is flawed. The great capabilities of people
are hardly even tapped. The abundance mentality produces more
profit, power, and recognition for everybody.
On the continuum, you go from a scarcity to an abundance mentality
through feelings of intrinsic self-worth and a benevolent desire
for mutual benefit.
Courage/Consideration
Associated with Habit 5: Seek First
to Understand, Then to Be Understood is the endowment of courage
balanced with consideration. Does it take courage and consideration
to not be understood first? Think about it. Think about the problems
you face. You tend to think, "You need to understand me,
but you don't understand. I understand you, but you don't understand
me. So let me tell you my story first, and then you can say what
you want." And the other person says, "Okay, I'll try
to understand." But the whole time they're "listening,"
they're preparing their reply. They are just pretending to listen,
selective listening. When you show your home movies or tell some
chapter of you autobiography "let me tell you my experience"
the other person is tuned out unless he feels understood.
What happens when you truly listen to another person? The whole
relationship is transformed: "Someone started listening to
me and they seemed to savor my words. They didn't agree or disagree,
they just were listening and I felt as if they were seeing how
I saw the world. And in that process, I found myself listening
to myself. I started to feel a worth in myself."
The root cause of almost all people problems is the basic communication
problem - people do not listen with empathy. They listen from
within their autobiography. They lack the skill and attitude of
empathy. They need approval; they lack courage. Within their frame
of reference, they say, "What can I do to please that person.
He has this high need for control. Wait a minute, I'm the manager
in control. I didn't come to listen I came to tell. When I want
your opinion, I'll give it to you." The ability to listen
first requires restraint, respect, and reverence. And the ability
to make yourself understood requires courage and consideration.
On the continuum, you go from fight and flight instincts to mature
two-way communication where courage is balanced with consideration.
Creativity
Associated with Habit 6: Synergize
is the endowment of creativity - the creation of something. How?
By yourself? No, through two respectful minds communicating, producing
solutions that are far better than what either originally proposed.
Most negotiation is positional bargaining and results at best
in compromise. But when you get into synergistic communication,
you leave position. You understand basic underlying needs and
interests and find solutions to satisfy them both.
Two Harvard professors, Roger Fisher and William Ury, in their
book Getting to Yes outline a whole new approach to negotiation.
Instead of assuming two opposing positions "I want that window
open." "No, closed." "No, open." with
occasional compromise half open half the time they saw the possibility
of synergy. "Why do you want it open?" "Well, I
like the fresh air." "Why do you want it closed?"
"I don't like the draft." "What can we do that
would give the fresh air without the draft."
Now, two creative people who have respect for each other and who
understand each other's needs might say, "Let's open the
window in the next room. Let's rearrange the furniture. Let's
open the top part of the window. Let's turn on the air conditioning."
They seek new alternatives because they are not defending positions.
Whenever there's a difference, say, "Let's go for a synergistic
win-win. Let's listen to each other. What is your need?"
"Well, I'm in just the mood for this kind of a movie. What
would you like?" Maybe you can find a movie or some other
activity that would satisfy both. And you get people thinking.
And if you get the spirit of teamwork, you start to build a very
powerful bond, an emotional bank account, and people are willing
to subordinate their immediate wants for long-term relationships.
One of the most important commitments
in a family or a business is never to badmouth. Always be loyal
to those who are absent if you want to retain those who are present.
And if you have problems, you go directly to the person to resolve
them. If you refuse to badmouth someone behind their back to another
person, what does that person know. When somebody badmouths him
behind his back, you won't join in.
For example, during times of death, divorce, and remarriages,
there are typically many strained feelings in families over the
settlements. Family members who feel slighted or cheated often
say nasty things about other family members. Think how much pain
and anguish might be spared if members of the family would adhere
to two basic principles: 1) People and relationships in our family
are more important than things (people on their death bed never
talk about spending more time at the office - they talk about
relationships); and 2) When we have any difficulty or difference,
we will go directly to the person. We are responsible for our
own attitudes and behaviors, and we can choose our responses to
this circumstance.
With courage and consideration, we will communicate openly with
each other and try to create win-win solutions. On the continuum,
you go from defensive communication to compromise transactions
to synergistic and creative alternatives and transformations.
Self-Renewal
Associated with Habit 7: Sharpen
the Saw is the unique endowment of continuous improvement or self-renewal
to overcome entropy. If you don't constantly improve and renew
yourself, you'll fall into entropy, closed systems and styles.
At one end of the continuum is entropy (everything breaks down),
and the other end is continuous improvement, innovation, and refinement.
On the continuum, you go from a condition of entropy to a condition
of continuous renewal, improvement, innovation, and refinement.
Find Your Voice/Inspire Others
to Find Their Voice